Post by Neô on Dec 3, 2006 16:42:03 GMT
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer good:
On a Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be...how?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's "just" a suggestion!)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. (!!!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on the bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late, you lose!)
On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment).
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts!!)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: Keep out of children. (Or pets. What's for dinner?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Hmmmmm, now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts. (no comment).
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (What is going on here?)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (As if you try to stop "anything" with your genitals. Maybe it's endorsed by Lorena Bobbit).
On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Way to destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
On a Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be...how?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's "just" a suggestion!)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. (!!!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on the bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late, you lose!)
On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment).
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts!!)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: Keep out of children. (Or pets. What's for dinner?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Hmmmmm, now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts. (no comment).
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (What is going on here?)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (As if you try to stop "anything" with your genitals. Maybe it's endorsed by Lorena Bobbit).
On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Way to destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
